TIPS AND ADVICE FOR ADAPTING YOUR LANGUAGE TO BE MORE INCLUSIVE.
When coming to the ASANA World Series, all community members should be prepared to use appropriate language when referring to others. For many of us, this can feel like an overwhelming challenge. Read on for advice on adapting to new pronouns and how to recover if a slip-up happens.
When meeting new people, introduce yourself with your name and pronouns. Do this even if your gender presentation matches your pronouns. To you, your pronouns may be very obvious, but including that information with your name signals to the folks you are meeting that pronouns matter to you! They will be more likely to share their name and pronouns with you in response.
If someone doesn’t share their pronouns, just ask them to let you know what their pronouns are, or simply use the non-gendered they/them pronouns until they tell you otherwise.
Avoid using gendered language when referring to gameplay and players on opposing teams. Phrases such as “Strike her out!” or “Good game ladies!” should not be used. Instead, consider phrases such as “Strike 'em out!” or “Good game folks!”
Consider what language you are using on social media posts as well. If posting a team photo online, double check with your teammates about captions such as “love playing ball with this group of women!” This is especially true when playing with pickup players or folks you haven’t known for very long.
Once you learn a new acquaintance’s pronouns, accept that you will likely get it wrong at some point. This is important because expectations of perfection can have a harder impact when those expectations aren’t met. Preparing for the eventual slip-up will give you the skills needed to recover gracefully and reduce the social harm for all people. Keep in mind that misgendering someone can be harmful to both people. The person misgendered can feel hurt among other things, and the person who used the wrong language may feel very embarrassed by their mistake and possible callouts that follow.
Repeat the entire sentence with the correct language; this allows practice and will help you reduce slip-ups in the future. The more you repeat/practice saying it correctly, the easier it will be!
Repeating it will also be very reassuring to the person who was misgendered. Most people will understand that adapting your language is a challenge. It’s not about how you start, it’s about how you finish.
Give people permission to remind you. Some folks may not feel comfortable with calling you out on the mistake. If you know this is an area that you are struggling with, go ahead and let them know you would like support and feedback in the moment so you can overcome this challenge with their help.
Accept that folks will likely correct your language even if you have not asked for help. This should not be seen as a negative thing and there is no reason to be defensive or try to explain yourself. Do not respond by saying, “Oh well I knew them when they were still a girl” or “I’ll just never get it right, I’m just horrible at this.” Try not to center yourself in your response to be corrected; instead you should just restate your response with the correct pronouns and quickly move on. You can also thank the person who let you know about the slip-up.
Don’t apologize; it’s not helpful or necessary. An apology is a prompt from others to reassure you that “it’s OK” when it’s actually not.
Thanks for taking the time to review these tips for being more inclusive! Small words can go a long way in making people feel welcome; we all have the capacity to learn and grow.